Friday, December 22, 2006
Social Gatherings & Leading
"Being on a roll is a lot about leading. It's hard to be on a roll
when you are not the one steering the car. If you are not already, try
asking fewer questions and making more statements. Be the one who
introduces new topics of conversation before a subject becomes stale.
And try to get others involved in conversation who are not."
-Juggler
Its the time of the year where friends, family and new friends come together to celebrate the season's festivities. In the past week I met old school friends, a girl I was in love with 10 years ago, another that I'm completely turned on by, new friends who I'll be celebrating with in 07 and all through Christmas parties. Socialising so much in the last week reinforced the importance of constantly leading interactions. A factor which seperates guys who get respect, attraction and attention from those who may be equally financially successful, good-looking, stylish, but get none, is their ability to lead. Bringing up more interesting topics of conversation, bringing energy levels up, making things personal, showing genuine interest, isolating. These are all your job. I noticed everytime a conversation stalled, I hadnt taken a risk, switched topics, made things personal enough. The great thing is, its easy to recover.
Her- Getting technical about her Accountancy job...
(I'm getting bored, shes repeating an auto response, this isnt going anywhere)
Me- "You're so passionate about your work, I like that! So an Accountant by day, what do you get up to in your extended time?"
Realise that at every stage of the interaction it is your job to lead. To turn negative topics into positive ones. To suggest sitting on the comfortable sofa next door. To appreciate her unique qualities. To make time spent with you more fun and captivating than anyone else in the room.
I'd also like to give special thanks to Peyman, Juggler, Khiem, Soapz, SHH, Spitkicker, MBP and GhettoBob for everything you shared and taught me this year. Enjoy the Holidays and see y'all in 07!
-Aero
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Stop Hoping For Completion
"The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way. They won't. It never ends. As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift." -David Deida
A couple of weeks ago I decided to take a chance and hold a Natural Game Seminar for members of the LSS. Working closely with my good friend Opsa, we expected a handful of people who wanted to learn an alternative to routines and indirect game. Within a week of announcing the seminar we had 62 confirmed invitations. I had a strong belief we could pull off a 2 hour seminar, but the longest I'd previously spoken in public was for 10 minutes at a toastmaster event. The day came and nerves were running through my system, I decided to go for a run and forget the entire talk. 6pm came, I was at the venue with the room slowly crowding up... 55 people had arrived, their experience varied wildly, their expectations: unknown! The seminar went on for 3 hours, with the crowd getting highly involved in the Q&A. A sigh of relief and a sense of achievement. After the talk the venue was charged with energy: people stayed, opened up and socialized for another hour before breaking into smaller groups for night game.
Listening back to the seminar, it was far from perfect: we missed parts out, told our experiences in a rush and even left sentences unfinished. Yet the immediate feedback we got included:
"If you held bootcamps I'd pay for one"
"More charismatic than David DeAngelo"
"Look at atmosphere you've created"
"I connected with you as soon as you told your Tube experience"
"A brilliant thing you did for the community; altruistic and truly genuine - which is the best one can hope for in life."
So next time you tell yourself: I cant say hi to this beautiful blond queuing in front of me for coffee... hmmm... maybe tomorrow I'll be in the zone. Stop and realise that perfection is another form of self-pity and low self esteem. Opportunities will never be perfect and there is no time when its not right now: go for it!
-Aero (in the cowboy shirt)
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
yin-YANG explored
The yin (blackness) principal represents negativeness, softness, femininity, insubstantiality, darkness, night, coldness, and so forth.
The YANG (whiteness) principal represents positiveness, firmness, masculinity, substantiality, brightness, day, heat, etc.
Once you understand the poles of this interconnected process, you can follow its natural course just like the up and down of pedaling a bicycle. The masculine force of the relationship is YANG, and must essentially be:
Leader - Act on your goals and values, rather than reacting to others.
Warm - Be open, reveal unguarded thoughts and actions.
Decisive - Know what you want before entering a situation.
Consistant - With beliefs, thoughts and values, rather than do what you feel.
Strong - Emotionally and physically. Show you can live with an open heart and mind.
Enthusiastic - Bring positive energy and see light in all situations.
Exciting - Take risks, break convention and be original.
If the core of your frame is YANG, you will attract women for all they are lacking and be influential to men. Before you forget yin: if you try to pedal by just pushing - or by just releasing - you would get nowhere and never get to enjoy the beauty of the scenery outdoors.
-Aero
Thursday, November 02, 2006
On Leading and yin-YANG
"Gentleness should cloak firmness; firmness should be modified by gentleness."
-Bruce Lee
The key to leading is in understanding the necessity for a balance. The taoist belief that yin, which is feminine and gentle, compliments YANG, which is masuline and firm can be used as an analogy for the balance needed to direct a relationship. When you are in a conversation with a woman it is your job to lead her to interesting topics and escalate. The same applies when its comes to setting up initial dates, to extracting and to going for a close. I found this works best when you provide direction, while being open to suggestion. Leading should come effortlessly, a powerful suggestion should appear cool and casual.
Use a casual statement:
"I'd like to carry on this conversation... Lets go have a coffee at Starbucks upstairs."
Rather than asking:
"Are you free for 5 minutes? I'd like to carry on this conversation... Theres a Starbucks upstairs."
When it comes to setting up dates I realised that replacing "would you like to..." with "lets..." makes a difference. Similarly telling a girl who is hesitant "I'm gonna be busy this weekend... the only way we can meet is if we pin something down now." Use firmness (YANG) as the basis for escalation, but be cool and flexible (yin) if things dont happen as expected.
-Aero
Friday, October 27, 2006
Be Original
"You gotta do everything: If you specialize in just one thing, you can't call yourself an ALL-OUT-KING!"
-Style Wars (1983)
DJ Neil Armstrong has kindly let me share this special mix he calls "23 Minutes of Summer". He made his way to Rolling Stone's top 10 DJ's of 2005 by being an original, by bringing together music from different gendres and eras. There are times in life when what you do might seem outlandish but how you do it will create attraction beyond your wildest dreams. I hope this mix inspires you to throw "limits" out of the window and be confident with your unique offering to the world.
1 Led Zepplin - Kashmir
2 Main Ingredient - Summer Breeze
3 Brenda Russell - You’re Free
4 Earth, Wind & Fire - Walk In the Light
5 Roy Ayers Ubiquity - Searchin
6 R. A. M. P. (Roy Ayers Music Project) - Daylight
7 Musical Youth - Pass The Dutchie
8 Rupert Holmes - Escape (Pina Colada Song)
9 Earth, Wind & Fire - Brazilian Rhyme
10 Stevie Wonder - Love Light in Flight
11 Goapele - Find A Way (Over Common’s “Go”)
12 Brand New Heavies - Stay This Way
13 Pharcyde - The E.N.D.
-Aero
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Giving Compliments
"There are those who give little of the much they have - and they give it for recognition, and their hidden desire makes their gift unwholesome.
And there are those who have little to give and give it all. These are the believers in life and the bounty of life and their coffers are never empty."
Kahlil Gibran
The Prophet
When I reached my final year of university I realised that I needed to change my attitude to get the degree I wanted and shine. I decided to lead a competitive environment by working with, not against fellow Business & French students. The deadline for the first French Philosophy assignment was near and I didnt have a clue how to discuss La Boetie or Althusser in context of: "While the recognition of power is necessary, it will be more efficient when misrecognised." Out of desperation I decided to share all the research I'd done in hope for some feedback. I invited the class of 30 students to a discussion, 1/5 showed up. All I expected was a little direction but I gained a lot, we all gained a lot: everyone who joined got a 1st (highest grade) for that assignment. I soon applied this principal to many modules and in the run up to our Finals, I shared revision notes and past assignments via email: encouraging those who benefited to contribute. The following 3 weeks (Easter Break) I received a couple of thank yous, but once I returned to uni attatchments came in: it was only a matter of time before I had the answers to many riddled past papers.
What has this got to do with attraction? By giving compliments freely but wisely, you imply that you have a lot to offer, you dont live in fear of being bettered by others and you are detatched from the outcome. Compliments are the currency of a relationship, they shouldnt take effort or be a means of gaining approval. In this frame you don't desire a certain reaction to your compliment, you roll with the outcome because youre giving not seeking approval. Compliments in the form of the "SOI" are the key to escalation and the path to sexual tension.
-Aero
Thursday, October 12, 2006
The Game isn't Esoteric
"False teachers of The Way of life use flowery words."
-Bruce Lee
We are living in a society of struggle. But the painful stuggle is often unneccessary. The root of the problem lies in the individuals who spend their lives transforming life's simplicities to something more esoteric. Look at the financial markets: a simple buy/sell process is hedged with language and terms that bring fear to the masses. The same story repeats itself in politics, the legal profession, the acting industry, the seduction community, etc. I am not arguing that being extraordinary in these fields is simple. What took me a long time to understand is that the most successful people, the best teachers and the finest methods revolve around simplicity.
The world's most famous Investor, Warren Buffet said: "There are no secrets in this business that only the priesthood knows. We don't go into temples and look at tablets that are only available to those who have passed the test". This is coming from a man who is the most successful in the world at what he does, and still works hard to reveal simplicity and encourage others to excel. The best in the seduction community are those who have a simple structure, but aren't limited by it. These people don't disguise a simple game with a structure that even a maths professor would struggle to fulfil. Ultimately don't let the "false teachers" make you struggle on your journey.
-Aero
-Bruce Lee
We are living in a society of struggle. But the painful stuggle is often unneccessary. The root of the problem lies in the individuals who spend their lives transforming life's simplicities to something more esoteric. Look at the financial markets: a simple buy/sell process is hedged with language and terms that bring fear to the masses. The same story repeats itself in politics, the legal profession, the acting industry, the seduction community, etc. I am not arguing that being extraordinary in these fields is simple. What took me a long time to understand is that the most successful people, the best teachers and the finest methods revolve around simplicity.
The world's most famous Investor, Warren Buffet said: "There are no secrets in this business that only the priesthood knows. We don't go into temples and look at tablets that are only available to those who have passed the test". This is coming from a man who is the most successful in the world at what he does, and still works hard to reveal simplicity and encourage others to excel. The best in the seduction community are those who have a simple structure, but aren't limited by it. These people don't disguise a simple game with a structure that even a maths professor would struggle to fulfil. Ultimately don't let the "false teachers" make you struggle on your journey.
-Aero
