Sunday, October 15, 2006
Giving Compliments
"There are those who give little of the much they have - and they give it for recognition, and their hidden desire makes their gift unwholesome.
And there are those who have little to give and give it all. These are the believers in life and the bounty of life and their coffers are never empty."
Kahlil Gibran
The Prophet
When I reached my final year of university I realised that I needed to change my attitude to get the degree I wanted and shine. I decided to lead a competitive environment by working with, not against fellow Business & French students. The deadline for the first French Philosophy assignment was near and I didnt have a clue how to discuss La Boetie or Althusser in context of: "While the recognition of power is necessary, it will be more efficient when misrecognised." Out of desperation I decided to share all the research I'd done in hope for some feedback. I invited the class of 30 students to a discussion, 1/5 showed up. All I expected was a little direction but I gained a lot, we all gained a lot: everyone who joined got a 1st (highest grade) for that assignment. I soon applied this principal to many modules and in the run up to our Finals, I shared revision notes and past assignments via email: encouraging those who benefited to contribute. The following 3 weeks (Easter Break) I received a couple of thank yous, but once I returned to uni attatchments came in: it was only a matter of time before I had the answers to many riddled past papers.
What has this got to do with attraction? By giving compliments freely but wisely, you imply that you have a lot to offer, you dont live in fear of being bettered by others and you are detatched from the outcome. Compliments are the currency of a relationship, they shouldnt take effort or be a means of gaining approval. In this frame you don't desire a certain reaction to your compliment, you roll with the outcome because youre giving not seeking approval. Compliments in the form of the "SOI" are the key to escalation and the path to sexual tension.
-Aero
Comments:
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Good post. I loved your example!
But what exactly do you mean by giving compliments "wisely?"
If a compliments is genuine, then it's genuine. How does wisdom come into it?
thx!
But what exactly do you mean by giving compliments "wisely?"
If a compliments is genuine, then it's genuine. How does wisdom come into it?
thx!
# posted by 
: 4:50 am
: 4:50 am
Great post! If youre only aim is to add value to peoples life the universe will make sure youre taken care of.
This way you just focus on the external and you will develop a certain silent power.
The path is easy once you have a map.
This way you just focus on the external and you will develop a certain silent power.
The path is easy once you have a map.
Glad you raised that point, I didnt want to give too much direction on something personal.
Giving compliments wisely: using your insight to give appropriately in terms of quantity and timing. At the same time freely: generously and with ease. Putting wisely and freely together is paradoxical but in this context it should make sense.
Being genuine is important, but be careful not slip out of the frame of appreciation.
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Giving compliments wisely: using your insight to give appropriately in terms of quantity and timing. At the same time freely: generously and with ease. Putting wisely and freely together is paradoxical but in this context it should make sense.
Being genuine is important, but be careful not slip out of the frame of appreciation.
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