Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Stop Hoping For Completion
"The masculine error is to think that eventually things will be different in some fundamental way. They won't. It never ends. As long as life continues, the creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift." -David Deida
A couple of weeks ago I decided to take a chance and hold a Natural Game Seminar for members of the LSS. Working closely with my good friend Opsa, we expected a handful of people who wanted to learn an alternative to routines and indirect game. Within a week of announcing the seminar we had 62 confirmed invitations. I had a strong belief we could pull off a 2 hour seminar, but the longest I'd previously spoken in public was for 10 minutes at a toastmaster event. The day came and nerves were running through my system, I decided to go for a run and forget the entire talk. 6pm came, I was at the venue with the room slowly crowding up... 55 people had arrived, their experience varied wildly, their expectations: unknown! The seminar went on for 3 hours, with the crowd getting highly involved in the Q&A. A sigh of relief and a sense of achievement. After the talk the venue was charged with energy: people stayed, opened up and socialized for another hour before breaking into smaller groups for night game.
Listening back to the seminar, it was far from perfect: we missed parts out, told our experiences in a rush and even left sentences unfinished. Yet the immediate feedback we got included:
"If you held bootcamps I'd pay for one"
"More charismatic than David DeAngelo"
"Look at atmosphere you've created"
"I connected with you as soon as you told your Tube experience"
"A brilliant thing you did for the community; altruistic and truly genuine - which is the best one can hope for in life."
So next time you tell yourself: I cant say hi to this beautiful blond queuing in front of me for coffee... hmmm... maybe tomorrow I'll be in the zone. Stop and realise that perfection is another form of self-pity and low self esteem. Opportunities will never be perfect and there is no time when its not right now: go for it!
-Aero (in the cowboy shirt)
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
yin-YANG explored
The yin (blackness) principal represents negativeness, softness, femininity, insubstantiality, darkness, night, coldness, and so forth.
The YANG (whiteness) principal represents positiveness, firmness, masculinity, substantiality, brightness, day, heat, etc.
Once you understand the poles of this interconnected process, you can follow its natural course just like the up and down of pedaling a bicycle. The masculine force of the relationship is YANG, and must essentially be:
Leader - Act on your goals and values, rather than reacting to others.
Warm - Be open, reveal unguarded thoughts and actions.
Decisive - Know what you want before entering a situation.
Consistant - With beliefs, thoughts and values, rather than do what you feel.
Strong - Emotionally and physically. Show you can live with an open heart and mind.
Enthusiastic - Bring positive energy and see light in all situations.
Exciting - Take risks, break convention and be original.
If the core of your frame is YANG, you will attract women for all they are lacking and be influential to men. Before you forget yin: if you try to pedal by just pushing - or by just releasing - you would get nowhere and never get to enjoy the beauty of the scenery outdoors.
-Aero
Thursday, November 02, 2006
On Leading and yin-YANG
"Gentleness should cloak firmness; firmness should be modified by gentleness."
-Bruce Lee
The key to leading is in understanding the necessity for a balance. The taoist belief that yin, which is feminine and gentle, compliments YANG, which is masuline and firm can be used as an analogy for the balance needed to direct a relationship. When you are in a conversation with a woman it is your job to lead her to interesting topics and escalate. The same applies when its comes to setting up initial dates, to extracting and to going for a close. I found this works best when you provide direction, while being open to suggestion. Leading should come effortlessly, a powerful suggestion should appear cool and casual.
Use a casual statement:
"I'd like to carry on this conversation... Lets go have a coffee at Starbucks upstairs."
Rather than asking:
"Are you free for 5 minutes? I'd like to carry on this conversation... Theres a Starbucks upstairs."
When it comes to setting up dates I realised that replacing "would you like to..." with "lets..." makes a difference. Similarly telling a girl who is hesitant "I'm gonna be busy this weekend... the only way we can meet is if we pin something down now." Use firmness (YANG) as the basis for escalation, but be cool and flexible (yin) if things dont happen as expected.
-Aero
